A Fork in the Road
by tarot-flair
Summary: It was as though they were at different points of a conversation, as if they were traveling on diverging paths of a road. [Athrun x Cagalli]


**Disclaimer: **_Merely a work of fandom_

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**A Fork in the Road**

_By tarot-flair_

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The rain fell in a light drizzle, the accompanying fog blurring the scenery outside or maybe it was because he had been staring at it for so long that the shapes had distorted into vague smudges. Somewhere in the maze of corridors in the Parliament House, a clock chimed, the sound drifting into the room he had been politely asked to wait in. It rang six times, four times more than the first time he had heard it today. 

Four hours and still no sign of her.

When he had left Shinn's family memorial, it had seemed so natural for him to drive towards the Parliament House where he knew she would inevitably be. The war was over; the unresolved issues between them still loomed like dark clouds but they would work together for the same dream – a world of peace, or so he thought and wanted to believe in.

_They were alive, here, and wasn't that all that was important?_

He had broken all the speed limits driving to the Parliament House only to be told, very politely, that Representative Athha was engaged in an important meeting, could not possibly be disturbed and would he please wait in the lounge? Now, four hours later, the haze of impulsive hope had evaporated and the reckless words he had wanted to say to her felt stale and irresponsible.

The door clicked shut and he looked up without surprise, calmly meeting a set of amber eyes. This meeting had after all, been overdue for far longer than four hours.

"Cagalli." The war might have ended but the violet smudges under her eyes were a testament to how much work still remained. How could he say the words he wanted to when here she stood, weary, selfless and noble?

"Athrun," she smiled –a strained smile- but it eased the lines of fatigue and worry in her face. "I'm sorry I didn't have time to attend the memorial service," she looked away briefly and he wondered how it had come down to this stiltedness, this _formality_ between them. "I'm sorry I didn't have time to thank you personally for what you've done…"

"What I've done?" _All I did was flounder in indecision and hurt all those I care for. _"There's nothing to be thanked for what I've done."

"That's not true," There was a smile in her voice. "You saved Orb. You stopped-- "

"Cagalli…" She turned unfathomable eyes back onto him and the words abruptly died in his throat. He had never been good with them anyway, not when it mattered.

But her eyes softened and she stepped closer, almost as if she had heard what he could not say.

"Wouldn't it be nice if we could turn back time?" She smiled wistfully. "Sometimes, many times during the war, I wished for things to return to how they were before, when I still had you."

"You still have me." But the words sounded weak even to his own ears.

"But you know, Athrun, I think we would have done the same things we did." She had seemed so calm until now that he looked up in surprise when her voice shook with emotion.

"Does it matter so much what we did?" Although he knew it did. _Some things could be understood but not forgiven_, the words were a haunting whisper, the day he had uttered them, a bitter memory.

"Athrun, do you know what it is that you want?" He looked at her puzzled; it was as though they were at different points of a conversation, as if they were traveling on diverging paths of a road. He pushed the uneasy thought aside.

"That's what I'm here for. I want --"

"I know what _I_ want. I want Orb to be strong again, self-sufficient, independent, and capable of staying that way." And he knew what she was really telling him. Even if the ring never surfaced again, even if he never got to hold her in his arms again, he would still have this – this comforting sense of understanding that they shared.

"Is that all?"

"Maybe it's time for you to think about what _you_ want, for yourself. You've always been so preoccupied with everyone else's desires that you've convinced yourself that you have none… or that your desires are the same as theirs, as mine." She smiled through the tears; the smile a good friend bestows on another in farewell.

"Take care, Athrun."

He felt that he ought to say something, anything, to try to change her mind but it would not be what she wanted and so, it was not what he wanted.

"Then I'll be leaving…" The words seemed almost tangible in the stillness of the air and he wished, just a little, that he could reach out and take them back.

She nodded mutely.

Before he could process the thought, he had already reached over and enfolded her in his arms. But the distance between them was wider than the two long strides he had taken and even now, with his head resting on her hair, breathing in her special scent of clean soap and sunlight, he felt cast adrift and very, _very_ far from her.

"I'll find out what I want." Not quite a promise but they already had so many broken ones that it would be better to leave it as it was. When she whispered softly against his jacket, he fancied that the words could penetrate through cloth, skin and flesh to imprint themselves on his heart. _I'll wait to hear it._

When he started the ignition of his car and drove away from the building and her, he discovered that, whether from the fog or his tears, he could not quite see the road ahead.

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**Author's Note: **_This is really meant to be a companion fic to "A New Dawn" but of course, it can be read on its own. I apologize for its vagueness but it's meant to leave room for continuation in the main fic._


End file.
